Hi, my name is Dominique and I am an introvert!
Merriam-Webster defines introvert as “a person whose personality is characterized by introversion : a typically reserved or quiet person who tends to be introspective and enjoys spending time alone.”
I think this word and definition is kind of limiting, because we are all multi-dimensional beings, so I do not think it could fully define someone, but in a general sense, it is true in my case.
By nature, I like to keep to myself. I don’t always need to be in all the action. I am not usually the loudest person in a room nor the center of attention. If I walk into a room full of strangers, my first instinct is to find a corner to sit at and observe as opposed to finding groups of people to communicate with( not the best habit, I know haha). I do not need to text, call, or hangout with my friends everyday or every weekend, nor do I always need to talk or socialize. I spend the majority of my time by myself, delightfully.
This does not mean I do not like to interact with people, it is just that I can only do it to a certain extent. Talking to people 24/7 or ALWAYS being around people can be exhausting for me and in no way, stimulates me. I can do it for a period of time, and as humans, we NEED to interact and socialize with others, and I enjoy it, but I know my limits.
I REALLY enjoy my own company, like REALLY. Nothing makes me happier than being in my room, eating some bomb food, and watching some of my favorite shows, alone. I can eat however I want, laugh as loud as I want, and no one can tell me anything!! I like to jog, do yoga, or go on walks by myself. Even doing nothing by myself is enjoyable to me. The best part of my day is towards the nighttime when I exercise, read a bible devotion or book, listen to a sermon, pray, and then go to bed. It is refreshing and special to me, and it helps me to focus on God, alone, without distractions. It allows me to work on myself and love myself, on a much deeper level. Being alone comfortably, is honestly top tier. Ain’t no time like me-time!
NOW NOW NOW, I am not saying I do not like to go out and interact with friends, or meet new people. I hang out with my friends on occasion and enjoy it so much because it is just refreshing and nice to be with people who value and respect me. I always have a good time with my friends and I desire many more memories with them. We all need friends!!!!
To add to that, I also have a raging desire inside of me to meet new people and create new experiences. I think the misconception people have about introverts is that we’re “boring”, “anti-social,” or “rude.” But the reality is, we just socialize and navigate life differently. We do not always need social stimulation, but that does not take away the fact, that some of us, like myself, is always open to meeting people.
Speaking for myself, I am very observant, which may not always be a good thing, because I may unintentionally make prejudgements, but it means that I do not let anyone in my life fully until I am comfortable with them or there is a level of trust, and once there is, WATCH OUT HONEY. You would swear I was a different person, but you have to earn my trust and respect, in order to get to the next level of our friendship, relationship, etc and get more access to me. I don’t give all of myself away so freely. The social process of introverts is different than that of extroverts.
Additionally, for me and maybe other introverts, (because not all introverts are the same,) it may take us a while to get comfortable in a new setting or in a new group, because of nerves, or we need to feel out the atmosphere, and as a result we may look detached or uninterested. Being openly friendly with strangers is not something that comes natural to us,(speaking for myself) but something we have to keep practicing, until we’re confident enough to do it, because we are so reserved by nature. I sometimes overthink or rehearse conversations in my head before deciding to speak to someone whereas an extrovert can just walk up to you effortlessly and start talking. So, if you see me in my corner by myself, it does not mean I am uninterested or anti-social, maybe I am strategizing ways to open up. However, as an introvert, there may be occasions where I just want to sit to the side and enjoy the vibes by myself, and I have no problem doing that.
As I mentioned earlier, the definition of introvert is limiting, because it cannot fully define someone. I enjoy spending time alone and naturally, I am more on the chill, quiet side. However, once I am comfortable enough to open up, you will see that I am friendly, louder, goofy, and very fun (things you probably would not call me at first glance- ask my closest friends and family LOL). I love deep conversations, I passionately love people and hearing their stories, I love to dance and have a good time, and the list goes on. It’s just that I handle social situations differently, and highly values alone time in order to recuperate and ground my spirit.
I am sure some extroverts would agree that they have introverted tendencies that people may overlook because of their outward nature.
So yes, I have a lot of introverted ways, like A LOT, and would call myself an introvert, naturally and in a general sense, but I wouldn’t say that the definition is enough to describe the depth of someone.
Dominique 