I have been traveling to Trinidad since childhood for summer vacation. I am blessed to have a great amount of family that still lives on the island, though many relatives have moved abroad, mostly to the U.S. With that being said, my stays in Trinidad along with the beach days and tropical adventures, also consist of many many visits to the houses of relatives including aunts, uncles, grandparents, great aunts and uncles etc.
As I have gotten older into adulthood, those visits have become shorter and shorter for various reasons, the biggest reason being death. I remember visiting at least 7-10 homes when I was younger to our various relatives’ homes, and just recently, we only visited one house of our great(older) relatives. And of course there are some relatives that we do not always get to see during every visit, just to clarify.
This causes a feeling of sadness and nostalgia for how life used to be but a level of maturity in accepting the cycle of life.
There was a seat my grandfather used to sit in located in the kitchen of my grandma’s house that is just now an empty space. I remember I used to grab his arm and he would squeeze my hand and I would just mess with him. I have many videos of him dancing and laughing in that space and other spaces around the house, and there is just this emptiness and sadness without him there.
My paternal grandmother’s house still has her presence and legacy, but without her, it is just not the same. I think of all of the memories of visiting her, eating plums from her plum tree, and enjoying a well-prepared meal of rice, stewed chicken, red beans and callaloo. I had an uncle who used to live there who also passed away, and his presence is still felt, though not there, but missed greatly.
Another painful yet necessary part of life is seeing relatives age and having to adjust to a different dynamic. The conversations become shorter and our interactions a little less lively. They can no longer accompany you on some of your adventures as their bodies do not have the strength anymore. They may have to go to bed a little earlier. They may have even forgotten you.
A painful reality of life.
Dominique 